Husband sent a text to his wife at night,
“Hi, I will be late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
There was no reply.
He sent another text,
“And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary! At the end of the month, I’m getting you a new car.”
This time, she sent this text back immediately:
“OMG really?!”
Husband replied,
“No, I just wanted to make sure you got my first message.”
A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags.
“Where are you going?” demands the surprised husband.
“To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!”
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing his own bags.
“What do you think you are doing?” she screamed.
“I’m going to Las Vegas with you… I want to see how you’re going to live on $1,000 a year!”
An old lady was signaling and waiting patiently to pull into a tight parking space. Suddenly, a young man in a brand-new red Mercedes zipped around her and pulled straight into the spot she had been waiting for.
Furious, the little old lady rolled down her window and said, “I was waiting for that space!”
The young man scoffed, flashing an arrogant grin. “That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.”
The old lady simply smiled, put her car in reverse, and plowed straight into the side of his pristine red Mercedes, crunching the metal, popping the airbags, and shattering the glass.
Shocked and horrified, the young man jumped out of his car and screamed, “What the hell did you do that for?!”
With a calm, sweet smile, the little old lady rolled up her window, put her car in drive, and called back over her shoulder, “That’s what you can do when you’re old, rich, and your insurance covers everything.”
