We hung up, and I sat there, emotionally drained, staring at the darkened window. That night, as Grace slept soundly in her bed, I thought about how close I had come to missing the signal. If I hadn’t recognized the word, if I’d brushed it off as a child’s rambling, she would still be there, silent and hurting.
The code word had worked. It was simple, almost silly, but it had given her a lifeline. And it made me realize how important it was to share this idea with others.
If you’re a parent, please choose a code word with your kids. Make sure it’s unique, not something that could casually come up in conversation. Don’t pick “school,” “dog,” or “birthday.” Pick something random, like “blueberries,” “dancing penguin,” or “silver moon.” Something odd enough to stand out.
Role-play with them, too. Show them how to use it in different scenarios—when they’re scared, uncomfortable, or just need to leave. Make sure they know you’ll always listen when they use it, no matter what.
That little word could make the difference between silence and safety. For us, it already has. This was the moment I realized that protecting Grace wasn’t just about being present—it was about giving her tools to protect herself when I couldn’t be there.
And for that, I’ll always be grateful for one small, powerful word: blueberries.
